Criticism or Suggestion

In the past 4 years, including Master degree and the first 3 years of my doctorate life, Garner always commented on my paper as quite simple, bit too plain, not approaching academic enough to be presented as a good scholastic writing. With this comment, thorough all the tutorials but plus up the patience without rashness to amendments and I have been encouraged to continue my writing for thesis since I was convinced that writing improvement could be fix on later time.

However, on the other hand, I do find myself worked on the language trying to word professional or more difficult vocabulary this year. To be honest, I was quite satisfied and pleased with what I have written recently. This new writing style, unfortunately, brought me an unexpected criticism. 2 weeks ago, I still held the happy confident attitude to see Garner, the only difference was the attitude and the language he used toward me which is a big stunningly shock for me. I couldn't recall here what exactly Garner said, probably too harsh to recollect them, but he did mark my writing weakness as an issue, almost a crisis already.

All of a sudden, it was like my happy face being poured chilly cold water without warning in advance. I wondered the possible reasons backing critical attitude Garner performed in front of me in that tutorial might be course leader's commandment, my unpleasant forcible writing commends, the real dilemmatic step and time to fix this mess.

Since everything in tutorial had been casting away after receiving this astonishing issue even albeit Garner had moved on to the next discussion on Malaysia Conference. The only thought and the sound replaying in my brain was 'horrible', 'impossible to read', 'professors may only read the first two pages and then quit' etc. As a result of this mixture concerns, despite unable to interact with Garner on the conference topic, my tear dropped like two streams of river. To my nature, I don't want to trouble people while crying; where I always smile and say don't worry, I am very fine, just emotional gate opens...but in deep down, I was hurt by this criticism...I know I was, since usually I am capable to hold tears up and throw the grievance out when I am alone.

Where the grievance came from is the fact that I know Garner didn't spend time on my work at all. When I asked him which parts I can be amending or making improvements, he could really reply neither specifically nor even generally, which disappointed me loads. Maybe because I did make effort on the new work, and expected for the compliment but failed into the lowest stage.

After talking with Dannie, there are some clear issues I may need to pay attention:

1. Every Sentence is Too Long.
2. Try to Avoid 'V + preposition'
3. Too much Creative Literature writing, Should be Academic One!
4. Shorter Sentence the Better.
5. Verbals are the Vital word in sentence, if we place the wrong one may mislead the content.
6. Shorten sentences by adding footnotes.
7. Standing from the reader of 3rd person to explicatively explain well.
8. Build up Basic Grammar book (any kinds) for Academic Writing.